4. Secret Agent ( FBI )

This story here is about this "Friend" who goes around mixing with everyone but unfortunately due to his foreign accent and aggressive behavior, he is disliked by many.

Me, myself being a kind soul became friend with him since he is always alone and due to the fact he stays near my hostel. The funny thing is, he tries to be friendly and mixes quite well with others i would say, but the annoying part is when he keeps telling me about how this "Person1" is a bastard, that "Person2" is another bastard, and "Person3" is also a bastard.

So everyone is a bastard except for you and him, but I guess you wouldn't know if he calls you a bastard too when he's speaking to someone else. Seems his way of striking conversation is to insult everyone else.

Its not only me listening to his complains but also other people who befriended him. He insults people whom i knew or who are at least my close friends. Anyway my friends and I started to avoid him, as he is not a sincere person.

We usually go to eat at HN restaurant daily since we have messes there. The journey would be around 10 minutes walk. Our "Friend" usually eats alone since everyone started to avoid him. He decides to "spy" on us to where we are eating. This is how it works:

1. After class, he waits for you outside, follow you and gives you a sudden scare by saying (Hey "Yourname") behind you (Sometimes he'll make a detour i.e toilet if you happen to be behind him). As we walk into the streets he will appear to head towards the restaurant where he usually eats alone.

2."Friend" hides in the restaurant. He sees you from a far distance, and follows you again!!, before you reach the restaurant (HN) he gives you the same old scare as he did before! ( Hey "Yourname" ) I can bet if an old man was in my place with high blood pressure, he will die instantly, flat on the ground not because of heart attack but because of his breath!

3."Friend" sees so many delicious dishes and he starts taking bits and bits of everyone's food by saying:

"Friend": Hey, Can i try some?

When he said the word "some" the food already landed in his MOUTH !! So, do we even need to consider the "no" option. I bet he will take the food out from his mouth and put it back on your plate. Oh, gross!

4. He will tell you about places having nice dishes and ask you to order some to "share" (just like a normal chinese restaurant) he'll take more than half of the dish but in the end, he won't split the bill. He only pay for his rice!

5 Sometimes he will say "Can you pay for me first? I didn't bring my wallet today or I have no cash, i pay you back later" You meet him the next day, guess what he says to you. "Cmon, we are friends man, treat me, dun be so stingy"

If it happens 2-3 times, its tolerable, but, Hey! this thing has been going on for1.5 years, you know what i mean??

By: Faber

3. Guardian Angel

This may sound like Omniknight's ulti (for those who play DOTA) and yes indeed he do cast it on us. Effect: +1000 armour

What happen?:

My room is just beside "Friend" room, and for no reasons he will leave his door wide open while blasting music. Even when I go into the kitchen to fetch a drink, "Friend" will rush towards me asking me what am i doing or what have i done in my room.It is as if i have done something wrong (Policeman questioning a rape case suspect). 

Or even when i am going out, "Friend" will shout "Where are you going ah?"

Where is the sense of privacy?As housemates, every little things we do we must report to the guardian to get +1000 armour and safety.

"Friend" : Where are you going ah?

Me: Going out.Why?

"Friend" : Wah, nowadays so dangerous if you go out alone.I must come!

Me: For what?I can take care myself

"Friend" : Nono 2 ppl together more safe. Aiya you donno the danger one la

Me: You want to rape me is it?

Just an exaggeration.

One day,i left the house when he was sleeping. My other friend (another housemate of mine: 3 all-together) joined me later during the day for lunch and later to have some dota games in the cybercafe. Another classmate who joined us called "Friend" to come along.

"Friend" sees us, shows us his angry face and scolds us for not being able to "report" to him before we leave the house. Sorry Guardian!

By: Faber

 2.Sharing is Caring

For you guys who live together but don't know each other too well? A word of advice, DON'T START SHARING STUFF until you know each other better

Here's a little story:
Coming to the dreamworld is a journey, and living there isn't the best thing to home, in fact, its almost like exile. So naturally you wanna bring stuff to supplement yourself right?

Your 'friend' brings a shitload of stuff and wanna divide the cost among all of you.You look at "friend" stuff and realise, almost half the items you will never use in your life time. i.e:
    
Lanterns (this ain't no red light district, pal)
Candles (If you're worried about a blackout, thats what an invertor is for)
Herbs (If I get sick...... I'd prefer modern medicine thanks, ain't no aunties here)
  
"Friend" goes through the trouble of bringing receipts and stuff, and seem to be in a real hurry to start dividing money........ only to find out that you actually brought more stuff than he did, usefull stuff to say the least i.e FOOD!!!!( No mamak here folks, you get hungry at night, you're pretty much screwed ). 

From then on, "Friend" never asked to divide food stuff from home again, 'can't make money from them this way'  

So guess where "Friend" started to leech from you next? stay tuned guys

By: Furbe

Journey in the dream world:

1. Human Alarm Clock

My friends and I rented a place to stay for education purposes. It started well at first, and...

Classes start at 8am daily from Monday to Saturday."Friend" rushes in my room, starts shouting "Its late adi, faster wake up!,wake up!" and then on all the lights and left the room.

From a distance, you can hear his music blasting. I rise to see my alarm clock only to find out that it is only 7am! Mind you, for some it may be normal to wake up that early but for me i like to sleep to the maximum lets say 7:40-45am? I rise as we are still "new" to being housemates, i changed into my formal wear.

From my room i can see "Friend" still playing with his computer without clothes(naked above only ps: we are not gay) chatting, and laughing.He will chat with you like nothing has happen, and you are left stranded alone waiting for the time to pass by while he continues to play his computer. Thing is, he wakes you up so early, and in the end he's the last one to be rushing out of the house.

It happens everyday!!

By: Faber

Welcome!
First and foremost, let us just say that, 'THIS CALL FRIENDS AH!!!!' is directly quoted from our 'friend'(s) which inspired us to write this wonderful biography.

For your information, this blog is mainly for private used, which is about sharing the  experiences we had with our "friends" in general.There is no single author for this blog, that is why we use "we" instead of "my blog". This blog is written by a group of friends, who are trapped in this society called the "DREAM-WORLD". Life has never been easy-going for us, call it unlucky for us to dwell in this Dream-World. We will not be putting our "friend's" name here because that is the least important, the most important being how he made us feel. We sincerely welcome your feedbacks or advices. Sorry if we are being too emotional, what is done has been done.